Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
