I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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