hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I love black thongs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
worst night to have a conscience
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
