a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
