is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
