I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
