clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
