4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
