please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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