And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
