Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
