why didn't you poke me back
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
