I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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