Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
