I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
