yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
