walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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