You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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