bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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