I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
