He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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