No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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