What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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