well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
