Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
