I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
