dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
