So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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