Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
