Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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