I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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