yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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