Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
