So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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