Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
