Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm passing your future prison.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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