We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
