why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
