he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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