I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
