a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
