okay pat passed out under dana's car
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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