Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
