Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She bit a glass in half.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
