Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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