guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
