apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
