yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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