Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
