I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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