I hate your face
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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