paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
