I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
