What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
